Testing a loved one is never easy. But if you’re concerned about their safety, trust, or behavior — it may be a necessary act of care.

Start with compassion.

Testing shouldn’t be used to “catch” someone — it should open the door to honesty. Those may be signs to explore if you’re noticing mood changes, withdrawal, or inconsistencies.

Have the conversation calmly.

Choose a private moment, and share your concern with empathy.

Try: “I’ve noticed some changes and want to understand what’s going on.”

Offer it as a step toward trust.

Testing can be part of moving forward, not a threat.

Say: “I’m not trying to punish you — I just want to ensure we’re on the same page.”

Pick the proper test.

Hair tests are non-invasive and cover about 90 days. They’re ideal for understanding patterns, not just recent use.

Regardless of the result, support matters.

If it’s negative, that’s reassuring. If it’s positive, it opens a path toward healing, resources, and possibly recovery.

Sources:

NIDA. “Signs of Drug Use and Addiction.” https://nida.nih.gov/publications/drugs-brains-behavior-science-addiction/signs-of-drug-use-addiction

Psychology Today. “How to Talk to a Loved One About Their Substance Use.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-addiction-connection/201906/how-talk-loved-one-about-their-substance-use

SAMHSA. National Helpline. https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline